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No matter how in love a couple are, when it comes to managing money together, relations can all too easily become hostile.
American couples who wait longer to walk down the aisle are inevitably bringing more debt to the table which is why experts say preparing your finances may be more worthwhile than planning the wedding itself.
According to statistics married couples who quarrel about bank balances and debt are more likely to wind up in the divorce courts.
Stress: Financial woes send many couples to the divorce courts so talking about finances before the wedding is recommended by experts (Stock Image)
A recent survey by the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants and Harris Interactive found that money causes more arguments among men and women than other typical domestic disputes.
A full 27per cent of respondents said their spats started over money, more than problems with kids (16per cent) or chores (13per cent).
A 2009 study by researchers at Utah State University revealed that couples who locked horns over finances at least once a week are 30per cent more likely to get divorced.
Chris Kimball, a certified financial planner in Lakewood, Washington, told Reuters: 'I probably spend 15per cent of my time with couples actually talking about money, and the other 85per cent talking about personal issues.'
'It all ties into money. It's a very powerful thing that can do great things in people's lives, or can really mess them up.'
Shockingly, nearly one-half of all people have lied to their significant other about money, according to an April poll by Self Magazine and Today.com.
And a survey conducted this spring by CreditCards.com revealed that six million Americans have hidden financial accounts from their spouses or live-in partners.
The deception isn't usually malicious. Often it's prompted by guilt and embarrassment about spending. Compounding the problem is that financial behavior is very deeply set, and can't be altered easily.
So where do couples go wrong, when it comes to money - and how can they make it right?
Only 43per cent of couples talked about money before marriage, according to a May 2010 survey conducted for American Express.
But lack of disclosure about your financial issues - maybe you're struggling with $100,000 in student debt, or maybe you filed for bankruptcy at some point - isn't really any different from lying. Be up front about your financial situation, have the "money talk" long before the big day, and tackle any challenges as a couple.
'My significant other didn't tell me about the money problems we were having, and then one day we had no credit left and had lost pretty much everything,' says Holli Rovenger, an author and speaker in Greenville, South Carolina. 'If we'd worked together, maybe our finances wouldn't have spiraled out of control.'
Minor money differences can be overcome as long as you have the basics covered: You have your daily needs met, you're bringing in more than you're paying out, and you're able to build a nest egg for the future. But once overspending and debt enter the picture, all bets are off.
'I was always a black-belt shopper, and hated to miss a sale,' says Jenny Triplett, an entrepreneur in Powder Springs, Georgia, who's been married to husband Rufus Triplett for 22 years. 'I'd have bags full of new clothes in the closet, and only bring them out one piece at a time. But eventually we came to a compromise, and I got my spending under control.'
That's exactly the right template for resolving money disputes, planners advise. Even with differing money styles, if both partners take strides toward the middle and agree on broad outlines of a budget, it could prevent countless disputes.
Celebrating Victory Today, But Big Money Is the Big Winner - DAILY KOS
While celebrating the big victory, I keep in mind the defeats and what they mean, not just for our state, but for our country:
Big Money, Republican leaning Corporate Media, saturated RW hate radio and Faux Newzzzz have kept a lying, corrupt, extremist governor in office against the largest state-wide grassroots movement I've ever seen or read about.If this power combination can save someone as toxic as Scott Walker, every election in this country is vulnerable. Big Money will just roll in, local and statewide corporate media will pander to the Republicans and attack the Democrats, and hate radio with Faux Newzzz will just hammer away at the rest. If I was President Obama, I'd be very, very worried (and perhaps more than a bit regretful that I didn't step in to defend the principle of recalls and campaign for Tom Barrett) because they'll use this same strategy to go after him.
The Republican wins yesterday are very troublesome because they overcame a massive grassroots movement. This was a test of our very concept of democracy - that People Power could overcome Money Power. Money Power won.
It wasn't Money Power alone that won. Money Power was also helped by their previous establishment of a corporatized media with media monopolies once again permitted by the relaxation, lack of enforcement, or elimination of regulations that prevented it in the past. Our leaders either ignored history or failed to remember that history repeats itself unless we prevent it from doing so.
William Randolph Hearst, media mogul and RWNJ (do those 2 always go hand in hand?) controlled a vast media empire in a time when print media was the only game in town and radio was in its infancy. As a result, he had a massive political influence that went well beyond what it should. Rules were established to prevent another media monopoly after his collapsed due to his greed to own it all sent his empire into financial ruin. Had he been less grasping to buy every newspaper in sight, that empire might still exist today weilding enormous influence.
Instead, lack of enforcement and deregulation have allowed modern day RWNJ and media mogul Rupert Murdock to emerge. And Clear Channel with its vast holdings throughout the country continues to expand the reach of RW hate radio with a few progressive stations sprinkled in here and there for "balance".
Corporations, no longer happy just to buy favorable coverage (or at least prevent negative coverage) with advertising dollars (do they really expect you to buy one of those wind turbines, jumbo jets, or jet engines they advertise?) have now become media owners themselves. Don't expect to see stories on how many Fortune 500 companies pay ZERO taxes or how their armies of lobbyists keep people paying more so they can pay less. And don't expect to see any positive coverage of politicians who don't serve their interests.
Big Money didn't do it on its own yesterday. Big Money has also patiently created Corporate Media over the decades. The team of Big Money and Corporate Media won. Our corporate media in Wisconsin has ensured that most people in Wisconsin hadn't even heard about the John Doe or Scott Walkers criminal defense fund, that acted like stenographers for Scott Walker "It's Working" talking points, that failed to point out he's the first governor in history to keep a secret schedule, that accepted and printed Scott Walkers Miracle Math jobs numbers while denouncing the actual Bureau of Labor Statistics report, that promoted Scott Walkers We Have More Teachers Miracle Math Report (yes, we have more teachers if you just ignore the numbers of retirements, layoffs, and resignations, but count replacement teachers as new, additional teachers), and so much other phony claptrap they pass off as "news".
Not just print media, but electronic media is equally at fault. Celebrity gossip, sensationalized stories, and propaganda are all you get. Whether on the radio, television, or newspaper it's becoming all Pravda all the time. Climate change is debatable (stop believing your own lying eyes), "clean coal" is good, the oil companies always clean up after a major spill, the uber rich are "job creators", regulations are bad, taxes are bad, and, my favorite, work hard and save and you, too, will be "prosperous".
And then there's the RW hate radio that saturates every inch of this country and Faux Newzzz available on basic cable everywhere to gin up every wingnut within earshot with an endless parade of sensationalized stories and ideological memes.
A healthy, vibrant, truth-reporting media is vital to a democracy. So vital that Freedom of the Press is enshrined in our Constitution. If it no longer exists because it's been bought, can democracy survive?
I'm concerned about what the future will mean if this combination can save someone like Scott Walker.
Bosque Financial Supporting Allianz Women, Money, And Power - PRLog (free press release)
More than half of all women want to learn more about retirement planning and entry-level saving and investing, according to the latest "Women, Money and Power" study released by Allianz Life Insurance Company of North America. While one in three women are eager to strengthen their financial planning skills, many are not sure where to begin.
Allianz commissioned the Women, Money and Power Phase II study to examine two key questions: what women want to learn about finances and how they want to learn it. It found that while the Internet is the most consulted resource, it is the least trusted. Human contact remains "the most meaningful and effective" source of information. In fact, 50 percent of women prefer "a person telling me" versus "reading about" something.
"The financial services industry has a tremendous opportunity to make long term and lasting changes that will benefit women today and in the future," said Sherri DuMond, vice president of Marketing Solutions for Allianz. "As a result of these findings, Allianz is continuing to help financial professionals connect with women in a way that addresses their concerns and help them achieve their financial goals and objectives."
Key topics: retirement planning, entry-level saving & investing
The study identified the financial planning topics women want to learn about most. The top five subjects include:
Planning for retirement/maintaining lifestyle in retirement
54 percent
How to start saving or investing on very little income
53 percent
Basics of buying smart (savy shopping, buying vs. leasing, etc.)
46 percent
How to select the right insurance products (life, long-term care)
41 percent
Definition of basic financial terms (IRAs, annuities, mutual funds)
40 percent
Single women with children were overwhelmingly interested in planning for retirement, with 68 percent saying it was a topic of interest. In addition, 47 percent of that group was interested in how to buy or select the right insurance products, and 49 percent wanted to learn the definitions of basic financial terms. Single women were particularly interested in educating themselves. Forty-five percent of single women with children and 55 percent of single women without children expressed interest in learning about financial planning. Divorced women were also above the group average, at 42 percent.
Human contact most preferred source -
When asked where women first turn for financial information, the Internet was most frequently cited (46 percent) compared to family members (34 percent), financial advisors (30 percent), banks (26 percent) and friends (22) percent. But when asked to rank effectiveness, the Internet plummets to number twelve, behind sources such as advisors, family members, friends, seminars, magazines, and television.
"This study is significant because it offers solutions to concerns women have with financial planning," said Arika Larson, the owner of Women Be Wise, a San Jose company dedicated to teaching women financial planning. "Women and men think about money and savings in completely different ways, so it is helpful to better understand these customers, who are poised to control 60 percent of the nation's wealth by 2010." Larson is an independent agent with Allianz.
Women Feel Overwhelmed By Materials and Language -
Difficulty in understanding financial information is a critical barrier for many women, the Allianz study found. When asked about their financial planning concerns, women responded:
Information is overwhelming/
44 percent
Information is complicated or hard to understand
36 percent
Materials are really boring and dry
32 percent
Don't understand terminology/
26 percent
Despite their reservations, more than one in three respondents – 35 percent – said they were very or quite a bit interested in learning about financial planning, retirement planning and investment decisions.
Allianz takes next steps-
Based on the study findings, Allianz is taking several steps to help financial professionals connect with women and help them to meet their financial goals. These steps include:
Expansion of educational efforts targeted at women
Delivering content through human contact whenever possible
Addressing the need for early education, helping young women and mothers to freely discuss finance with each other or their children
Designing highly relevant seminars and materials that utilize real-life success stories
Creation of breakthrough materials that are clear
"I'm excited about this opportunity to really take a look at what women need from a financial services company," said Tom Burns, senior vice president and chief distribution officer. "This study represents a clear opportunity for Allianz and the financial services industry as a whole to break the cycle of women's hesitance to be involved in financial planning."
About the study-
Larson Research conducted a telephone study among a national probability sample of 1,443 women between the ages of 25-75 with an annual household income above 30,000 US dollars. In addition, 21 focus groups in five large U.S. markets were conducted. The sampling was based on the most recent U.S. Census data.
As with all content published on this site, these statements are subject to our Forward-Looking Statement disclaimer, provided on the right.
For further information›
Chart of the day: Business as usual in the ECB - New Statesman
So far the ECB has forecast a stabilising of economic activity in the eurozone at low levels. But its expectations of a gradual economic recovery this year have been challenged by recent data.
Eurozone purchasing managers’ indices showed activity contracting sharply at the start of the second quarter, while unemployment in the currency bloc reached a euro-era high of 11 per cent of the workforce in April. M3, the broad money supply measure, watched by the ECB as an inflation and activity indicator, also decelerated. As the council met, Germany reported the country’s industrial production had fallen by 2.2 per cent in April compared with the previous month.
Further strengthening the case for an interest rate cut have been signs that eurozone inflation is decelerating significantly – even if, at 2.4 per cent in May, it remained above the ECB’s target of an annual rate "below but close" to 2 per cent.
Financial Markets Buoyant Ahead of ECB Meeting - NASDAQ
Financial markets were in a buoyant mood early Wednesday with the euro rising strongly against the dollar, stocks strongly up in positive territory and euro-zone "peripheral" yields steady ahead of the European Central Bank's rate setting meeting later in the day.
Investors are hoping for some action from the central bank after the crisis in the euro zone has worsened in recent weeks.
Spain's borrowing costs have risen sharply with its banking sector looking increasingly vulnerable and there is still a big question mark over the political situation in Greece as the June 17 general election looms.
In addition, traders say the U.S. Federal Reserve may also introduce a round of fresh stimulus measures. A report in The Wall Street Journal said that disappointing economic data, weak financial markets and the ongoing European crisis have made policy action at the central bank a possibility once again. However the Fed's next meeting on June 19 and 20 could be too soon for decisive action.
But most economists have maintained their forecasts that the ECB will not change its policy response or key rate.
"The ECB is unlikely to see a rate cut as an effective response to the problems of the periphery, with any rate cut in future likely to be triggered by weakness in Germany and the rest of the "core" countries," said Lloyds Bank. Nor does it see another long-term refinancing operation as likely at this stage.
But investors are thinking otherwise and at 0815 GMT, the benchmark Stoxx 600 index was up 1.4% at 237.81. Germany's DAX increased 1.4% to 6053.48 and France's CAC-40 gained 1.4% to 3028.85. The U.K.'sFTSE 100, which re-opened after the Jubilee public holiday, was 1.2% higher at 5321.98.
In foreign exchanges, the euro gained against the dollar as investors hoped the ECB would take fresh easing action later to calm recent market jitters. At 0815 GMT the euro was $1.2518 compared with $1.2452 late Tuesday in New York.
Bank stocks were up in Europe with the Stoxx 600 index 2.4% higher at 124.62. Even German banks made some solid gains despite Moody's Investors Service lowering its investment-grade ratings on six German banks by one notch. The ratings firm pointed to increased risk of further shocks from the euro-zone sovereign crisis for the change. Moody's also lowered its investment grade ratings on Austria's three largest banks. However, Commerzbank--one of the banks that was downgraded--was up 2.0%.
The move by Moody's is part of its ongoing review of over 100 European banks so it was anticipated by the markets.
Amongst individual stocks, Lloyds Banking Group gained 4.4% after selling an GBP809 million package of Australian corporate real-estate loans. The package was sold to AET SPV Management Pty Limited, a joint venture comprised of funds sponsored by a Morgan Stanley real-estate investment fund and Blackstone Group.
Elsewhere, Dutch retailer Royal Ahold NV fell 3.1% after it posted a slight fall in its first-quarter net profit as intense price competition weighed on margins. Royal Ahold gets most of its revenue from the U.S. where it operates the Stop & Shop and Giant chains.
Asian equity markets rose Wednesday. Japan's Nikkei gained 1.8%, helped by a weakening yen, Hong Kong's Hang Seng Index increased 1.3% while Australia's S&P ASX 200 ticked up 0.3%.
Earlier, data showed that Australia's average measure of gross domestic product in the first quarter rose 1.3% on the quarter and 4.3% on the year. Economists on average had expected GDP to rise 0.7% on the quarter and 3.4% on the year.
The China Shanghai Composite slipped 0.1%. South Korea is closed for a holiday.
In other asset classes, the July Nymex crude futures contract was up $1.00 at $85.29 and the July Brent futures contract was up $0.90 at $99.74. Spot gold was $7.30 higher at $1,635.10. The September bund was down 0.57 points at 144.29.
The Spanish 10-year Spanish government bond yield was down two basis points at 6.324% and the Italian 10-year bond yield was down one point at 5.61%, reflecting the more positive mood in the financial markets.
The second release of euro-zone first-quarter GDP is at 0900 GMT and German industrial production at 1000 GMT. The ECB's rate announcement is at 1145 GMT and a press conference hosted by the ECB's president Mario Draghi follows at 1230 GMT.
Write to Andrea Tryphonides at andrea.tryphonides@dowjones.com
(END) Dow Jones Newswires 06-06-120305ET Copyright (c) 2012 Dow Jones & Company, Inc.
Business as usual for the Royal family as they go straight back to work after Diamond Jubilee triumph - Daily Telegraph
Mr Rajapakse, whose Range Rover did not carry a flag because of security concerns, was jeered by hundreds of Tamils and other human rights campaigners who accuse him of torturing prisoners. He had earlier been forced to cancel a speech to the Commonwealth Economic Forum.
The Queen appeared relaxed about the presence of the protestors as she was handed a bouquet on her arrival by nine-year-old Aduke Badale, the daughter of one of the Secretariat’s staff.
Wearing a floral print silk dress by Stuart Parvin and a blue wool crepe hat, the Queen was welcomed by Mr Sharma, who told the guests: “It gives me great pleasure to welcome you all on this very special day in the history of the Commonwealth.”
The Queen was presented with a plaque on which the leaders expressed their “profound admiration and abiding appreciation for the manner in which Her Majesty has diligently and faithfully served the Commonwealth”.
The lunch was the Queen’s second official engagement of the day, following an audience with the Canadian Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, during which she unveiled a new portrait of herself by the Canadian artist Phil Richards, commissioned by the Government of Canada.
In Scotland the Prince of Wales, or Duke of Rothesay as he is known north of the border, opened the biennial Scotsheep event in the grounds of Dumfries House, the stately home renovated by charities brought together by the Prince in Cumnock, Ayrshire.
Carrying a shepherd’s crook and wearing a flat cap, or bunnet, and black wellies, the Prince told farmers it was “a shame” that he had not been able to visit the previous day, but joked that he had had “a very busy few days”.
He had travelled to Scotland immediately after Tuesday’s Jubilee events and spent the night at Dumfries House before opening the event, which is the flagship show of Scotland’s National Sheep Association.
The Duke of Cambridge was heading back to Anglesey to resume his work with his RAF Search and Rescue Squadron and Prince Harry has returned to his Apache helicopter duties with the Army.
Next week the Queen will resume her round-Britain Diamond Jubilee tour by visiting Nottingham, Lincolnshire Northamptonshire and Hertfordshire.
The Duke of Edinburgh is expected to be out of hospital by then, but will wait for advice from doctors before any decision is made on whether he is well enough to accompany the Queen, as he is scheduled to.
Morning business round-up: Spain denies imminent bailout - BBC News
What made the business news in Asia and Europe this morning? Here's our daily business round-up:
Continue reading the main storySpain's economy minister has dampened speculation that the country is about to seek a bailout of its bank sector.
Luis de Guindos said no decision would be made until audits of the banks were completed, possibly by the end of June.
There have been reports in the past few days that Spain is seeking an immediate bailout from eurozone funds.
Also on Wednesday, the European Commission unveiled proposals designed to stop taxpayers' money being used to bail out failed banks.
The aim is to ensure losses are borne by bank shareholders and creditors and minimise costs for taxpayers.
Meanwhile, ratings agency Moody's has cut the credit ratings of six German banks and three in Austria.
The biggest bank affected was Commerzbank, Germany's second-biggest lender, which was cut to A3 from A2.
"Today's rating actions are driven by the increased risk of further shocks emanating from the euro area debt crisis," Moody's said.
Official figures have confirmed the eurozone economy achieved zero growth in the first three months of 2012.
The second estimate of gross domestic product also said there had been no growth in the wider 27-nation EU in the period.
The eurozone economy contracted in the last three months of 2011, so the zero growth means it has just managed to avoid recession.
Business headlines
Australia's economy grew by more-than-expected in the first three months of the year, allaying fears of a global slowdown hurting its growth.
The economy grew by 1.3% during the period from the previous three months. Analysts had projected a 0.5% expansion.
Compared with the same period last year, the economy grew by 4.3%.
There have been fears that slowing global demand for commodities and a stagnant domestic market may hurt Australia's growth.
Abu Dhabi's Etihad Airways has bought a 4% stake in Virgin Australia, in an attempt to expand its global presence.
Etihad said it had acquired the stake for $35.6m (£23.1m) and added that it was keen to raise its holding in Virgin Australia to as much as 10%.
It is the fourth time since December last year that Etihad has bought a stake in another airline.
In the UK, growth in the construction sector slowed to a three-month low in May. The Markit/CIPS purchasing managers' index (PMI) for construction fell to 54.4 last month, from 55.8 in April.
However, the reading indicates that the sector is still growing, as a figure above 50 implies expansion.
Office for National Statistics figures found a fall in construction output in the first quarter of 2012 contributed to the overall economy contracting.
The company said it would build a new distillery in Speyside or the Highlands and would draw up plans for a second if demand was sufficient.
New warehouses to store the Scotch will also be built.
In the latest Business Daily podcast Apple's former advertising director Ken Segall says the firm's success is down to keeping things simple, while economist Pedro Schwartz discusses Spain's latest efforts to raise capital for its banks.
Financial advice? Just ask Arlington - Irish Central
Irish Central Community News is pleased to continue with our bi-weekly financial column, courtesy of Sean O’Sullivan of Arlington Financial
Irish Central Community News is pleased to continue with our bi-weekly financial column, courtesy of Sean O’Sullivan of Arlington Financial. This time around Sean tackles FHA Loans.
FHA loans have been helping people become homeowners since 1934. How do they do it? The Federal Housing Administration (FHA) – which is part of HUD – insures the loan, so your lender can offer you a better deal.
• Low down payments
• Low closing costs
• Easy credit qualifying
No minimum credit score – FHA does not have a minimum credit score requirement. The FHA underwriter will evaluate the entire credit profile to determine the borrower’s likelihood of repayment. Past credit issues may be overlooked if new credit has been re-established. Also, other compensating factors may apply. For example in place of conventional credit, alternate credit references are accepted, normally four references for 12 months or more. Alternate credit would be for example utility references from your electric, gas, oil, home phone, cell phone, car insurance, cable TV suppliers, etc.
• Bankruptcy okay – Chapter 7 bankruptcies are allowed if discharged over 2 years ago (or 1 year with extenuating circumstances). Chapter 13 bankruptcies are allowed with a minimum of 1 year of on time plan repayment and trustee approval.
• Little Money Needed - FHA loans allow the seller to pay up to 6% of the sales price toward the closing costs. On 1 to 4 family units and Condo’s, your down-payment can be as little as 3.5% of the purchase price.
• Housing History– FHA does not require a rental or other housing history if it is not available.
• Non-occupying co-borrower allowed – FHA allows a non-occupying relative to co-sign the mortgage. The non-occupant’s income and assets can be used for qualification purposes.
• Want a fixer-upper? - FHA has a loan that allows you to buy a home that’s in poor condition, fix it up, and include all the costs in one loan. Or, if you own a home that you want to re-model or repair, you can refinance what you owe and add the cost of repairs - all in one loan.
• Property types – 1 to 4 family units, condos, town homes, modular homes, and manufactured homes. Unfortunately Co-op’s are not allowed.
• No cash reserves required – Unlike most conventional loans, FHA does not require you to have cash reserves on 1 to 2 family unit properties. However, having reserves can help strengthen the overall credit profile.
For any additional information, or questions regarding other subject matter, contact Sean O’Sullivan at Arlington Financial. Phone: 914-793-1122, email: Info@ArlingtonFinancial.com
YOUR MONEY-How couples sabotage their finances - Reuters UK
(The author is a Reuters contributor. The opinions expressed are his own. This is part of a five-story package on marriage and money moving June 4-7)
By Chris Taylor
NEW YORK, June 6 (Reuters) - With a wedding coming up, you'd think Jay Buerck would be obsessing about the usual details: Writing vows, choosing appetizers, or figuring out seating charts to accommodate challenging relatives.
But what worries the 29-year-old St. Louis marketing professional isn't any of those things: It's money.
Not that he and his bride-to-be Liz Downey won't have enough; they earn comfortable salaries. What really freaks him out is the inherent challenge of joining two people's finances.
"Money is the reason why many people get divorced," says Buerck. "I have a buddy who got married and didn't tell his wife about the extent of his debt, and they had a rough go of it when he came clean. That's something I want to try and avoid."
The couple has already taken steps to prepare their finances. That's a smart strategy, according to financial experts, especially now that U.S. couples are waiting longer to marry, and many people have thousands of dollars in student loans and credit card debt by the time they take their vows.
Money causes more arguments than other typical flashpoints, according to a recent survey by the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants and Harris Interactive.
A full 27 percent of respondents said their spats started over money, more than problems with kids (16 percent) or chores (13 percent).
Couples who lock horns over finances at least once a week are 30 percent more likely to get divorced, according to a 2009 study by researchers at Utah State University,
"I probably spend 15 percent of my time with couples actually talking about money, and the other 85 percent talking about personal issues," says Chris Kimball, a certified financial planner in Lakewood, Washington, who also has a Masters of Divinity degree.
"It all ties into money. It's a very powerful thing that can do great things in people's lives, or can really mess them up."
Shockingly, nearly one-half of all people have lied to their significant other about money, according to an April poll by Self Magazine and Today.com. (For a graphic representation of our financial State of the Union, click (link.reuters.com/zyw58s)
And a survey conducted this spring by CreditCards.com revealed that 6 million Americans have hidden financial accounts from their spouses or live-in partners.
The deception isn't usually malicious. Often it's prompted by guilt and embarrassment about spending. Compounding the problem is that financial behavior is very deeply set, and can't be altered easily.
So where do couples go wrong, when it comes to money -- and how can they make it right?
HAVE THE MONEY TALK
Only 43 percent of couples talked about money before marriage, according to a May 2010 survey conducted for American Express.
But lack of disclosure about your financial issues -- maybe you're struggling with $100,000 in student debt, or maybe you filed for bankruptcy at some point -- isn't really any different from lying. Be up front about your financial situation, have the "money talk" long before the big day, and tackle any challenges as a couple.
"My significant other didn't tell me about the money problems we were having, and then one day we had no credit left and had lost pretty much everything," says Holli Rovenger, an author and speaker in Greenville, South Carolina. "If we'd worked together, maybe our finances wouldn't have spiraled out of control."
Minor money differences can be overcome as long as you have the basics covered: You have your daily needs met, you're bringing in more than you're paying out, and you're able to build a nest egg for the future. But once overspending and debt enter the picture, all bets are off.
"I was always a black-belt shopper, and hated to miss a sale," says Jenny Triplett, an entrepreneur in Powder Springs, Georgia, who's been married to husband Rufus Triplett for 22 years. "I'd have bags full of new clothes in the closet, and only bring them out one piece at a time. But eventually we came to a compromise, and I got my spending under control."
That's exactly the right template for resolving money disputes, planners advise. Even with differing money styles, if both partners take strides toward the middle and agree on broad outlines of a budget, it could prevent countless disputes.
HIDING FROM HELP
Money is such an emotional issue that it could be difficult for couples to untangle all the knots on their own. A trained third party can help you figure out the core issues, and mutually agree on a financial plan.
"I've had clients yelling at each other in the parking lot, who came into the conference room and then wouldn't say a word to each other for the first hour," says Kimball. "But eventually we were able to work through it. Talking to someone can help air these financial issues in a safe environment."
Check out the website of the Association for Financial Counseling and Planning Education (www.afcpe.org), which has a searchable database of trained financial counselors.
BEING ON SAME PAGE
It's helpful to have basic guidelines in place that will keep you on the same page. For instance, purchases under a certain dollar amount can be left to each spouse's discretion, while larger ones should to be cleared with your partner.
Some couples might be comfortable pooling all of their money, and others may not; neither is the "right" choice, but that should be decided explicitly.
"Understanding your partner's values on money is so very important," says Andi Wrenn, a financial counselor in Boston with a master's in marriage and family therapy. "Talk about how they learned money management, and what they plan to do in the future with the money they have and earn. Not often do people marry that are from exactly the same background."
That certainly applies to Jay Buerck and his bride-to-be. She's traditionally been more of a budgeter, and he's more laissez faire when it comes to counting pennies. But since they set up a joint account and moved in together, finances have "actually become less stressful," he says. "It's all about being open and honest." (Follow us @ReutersMoney or here; editing by Jilian Mincer, Linda Stern and Jeffrey Benkoe)
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